Martin van de Loo – Traumatherapie Berlin
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Queer Therapy Berlin: Trauma Therapy with NARM & Somatic Experiencing

Queer therapy Berlin-Kreuzberg, in English: Are you lesbian, gay, bi, trans, inter, non-binary, asexual or queer in some other way? And do you carry things around that don’t really come from you – but from years of being put down, pressure to fit in, or the feeling of not belonging?

Experiences like these can settle in the body and the nervous system, even long after they’re over. There are names for this, like minority stress (in German) and systemic trauma. In my queer trauma therapy, we work with them in a body-oriented way, using NARM and Somatic Experiencing – at your pace.

My practice is in the Bergmannkiez in Berlin-Kreuzberg. On Mondays I also work at Blücherstraße 58 and online.

Queer trauma therapy - what people come to me with:

Every story is different. These are themes I meet again and again in my practice:

  • Minority stress and discrimination: the traces that devaluation, bullying, violence or constant vigilance leave in the nervous system – in the family, at work or elsewhere.
  • Shame and the feeling of being wrong: often long before coming out. NARM speaks of shame- and pride-based survival strategies that once protected you and may now get in your way.
  • Gender and sexual identity: questions, uncertainty, coming out, or the emotional side of a transition – without having to explain yourself.
  • Belonging: not quite feeling at home in your family of origin or in the community, or feeling lonely despite lots of contacts.
  • Relationships and attachment: closeness that feels scary, recurring patterns, questions about open, polyamorous or monogamous relationships.
  • Neuroqueer: when you’re queer and neurodivergent, and both together demand a lot of adapting.

 

See also therapy for neurodivergent people (in German).

Queere Psychotherapie Berlin

Queer NARM. Queer Somatic Experiencing. Queer therapy Berlin

My main focus is NARM, the NeuroAffective Relational Model and I am a certified NARM practitioner. NARM assumes that early on, we had to develop strategies to cope with a lack of safety or with rejection: adapting, making ourselves invisible, shutting down our feelings. Many queer people know this well. In every session, we start with what you want for yourself and explore what gets in the way. The goal isn’t to fix you, but to gain more freedom of choice.

When tension, freezing or exhaustion are in the foreground, I bring in Somatic Experiencing. We then work with your body sensations in small, well-dosed steps, so your nervous system can gradually experience more safety.

Queer NARM and queer Somatic Experiencing aren’t separate methods: I work with NARM and Somatic Experiencing and bring knowledge of queer lives and minority stress into the room. You can find an overview of all methods here (in German).

 

 

Queer-affirmative: what that means for me

  • You don’t have to explain anything: not your identity, your pronouns, your body or your relationship style.
  • You are not the problem: much of what weighs on you comes from what was done to you, not from a flaw in you.
  • Sex-positive and non-judgmental: we can talk openly about desire (or the lack of it), sex and ways of living, without moralizing.

I’m gay and queer myself, and I founded the Queer Working Group within the German Somatic Experiencing association. I’m also a white cis man, and I’m aware that I don’t know every queer reality from my own experience. When I don’t understand something, I ask – and you’re always welcome to correct me.

I describe which forms of trauma can play a role for queer people – from systemic and transgenerational to shock trauma – in my article Queer Somatic Experiencing (in German).

What I don’t offer

  • No assessments or referral letters for medical transition steps. These have to come from medical doctors or licensed psychotherapists. I can, however, support you emotionally during a transition.
  • No medication: only medical doctors can prescribe medication. But medication and therapy with me can go hand in hand.
  • No therapy for children or teenagers: I work exclusively with adults aged 18 and over.
Do I need to have experienced a trauma to come?

No. Many people just notice that they often feel tense, exhausted or out of place, without being able to name a specific event. That, too, can be a consequence of minority stress.

Yes. You’re welcome wherever you are in your identity or in a transition.

Yes. You don’t have to justify your relationship style, your preferences or your work. We focus on what weighs on you, not on what others judge.

No. With Somatic Experiencing in particular, we can work a lot through the body without you having to tell everything. You set the pace.

Yes, all sessions are available in English or German.

A session (60 minutes) costs €95. Statutory health insurance doesn’t cover the costs; private insurance sometimes does.

Book a session

If you recognize yourself here, feel free to book a session. In the first session, we take a little more time to get to know each other.

Go to my calendar

My Trauma blog (in German)

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